Measure up to yourself

By Nahrizul Adib Kadri

I remember sitting in the school library one afternoon when I was a teenager, flipping through the pages of a book about great achievers. One chapter told the story of Bobby Fischer, who became a chess grandmaster at just 15 years old. The next featured Michael Jackson, who, by the age of 10, was already dazzling audiences as the lead singer of The Jackson 5. I felt a wave of inadequacy wash over me. What had I accomplished? Why didn’t my life shine like theirs?

Looking back now, I realise how dangerous that kind of comparison can be. It’s a game with no winners. There will always be someone richer, smarter, or more talented. Even if you win today, there’s always tomorrow, when someone else steps into the spotlight. Yet, it’s a game most of us can’t resist playing. We scroll through social media, measuring our lives against curated versions of others’. We glance at friends, colleagues, neighbours, or classmates and wonder: “Why am I not where they are?”

But here’s a thought: What if we set our own rules and measured success on our own terms?

Rumi the poet once said, “Don’t be satisfied with stories, how things have gone with others. Unfold your own myth.” That single sentence captures the essence of what I’ve come to believe about success. It’s not about outperforming others; it’s about living authentically, aligned with your passions and values. 

Imagine two people running in marathon. One has trained for months to beat their personal best (or PB in runner-speak); while the other has trained to outrun everyone else. Who do you think will find more fulfilment at the finish line? I truly believe it’s the one running against their own benchmark, trying to beat their own PBs. Why? Because their victory doesn’t depend on the performance of others—it’s entirely within their control. 

This is how success should feel. It’s not a mirror reflecting someone else’s achievements, but a compass guiding you toward your own north. For some, that might mean mastering a craft. For others, it might mean living simply and joyfully. Whatever it is, the key is to define it early and stay true to it.

In J.R.R. Tolkien’s The Hobbit, Bilbo Baggins begins his journey reluctantly, unsure if he’s cut out for adventure. But as the story unfolds, he discovers strengths and qualities within himself that he never knew existed. The same certainly holds true for us. Often, the first step to finding our path is simply trying something—anything, really—that stirs our curiosity. 

Here’s the truth: You don’t need to excel at everything. You don’t even need to excel at something society deems impressive. You just need to excel at being you. Pick one passion, interest, or skill. Pour yourself into it. Not because it’s what others expect, but because it’s what resonates with you. 

The greatest battles we fight are often internal. The voice that says, “You’re not good enough.” The doubt that whispers, “What’s the point?” But here’s the paradox: The only person you need to prove wrong is yourself.

Einstein’s words come to mind at this point: “Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.” So stop climbing other people’s trees. Swim in your own waters. Period.

Bobby Fischer didn’t become a chess legend by trying to out-sing (and dance!) Michael Jackson, and Michael Jackson didn’t rise to be the King of Pop by trying to outplay Fischer in chess. Each of them excelled because they focused on their unique God-given gifts. We, too, have our own gifts—hidden, waiting to be nurtured. 

In the end, life isn’t about winning someone else’s race. It’s about finishing your own. And in those quiet moments, when the world falls away and it’s just you—your thoughts, your doubts, your dreams, your fears—that’s when you realise the truth. It’s not about beating anyone else. It never was. It’s about becoming the best version of yourself.

If I could go back to that teenager sitting in the library, staring at those incredible stories of Bobby Fischer and Michael Jackson, I’d tell him this: Stop looking at everyone else’s story. Start writing your own. 

And make it a bestseller.

Ir Dr Nahrizul Adib Kadri is an associate professor of biomedical engineering and the Principal of Ibnu Sina Residential College, Universiti Malaya. He may be reached at nahrizuladib@um.edu.my