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Bend so you don’t break

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Welcoming flexibility for a fuller life

By: Nahrizul Adib Kadri

Clinging to what we know—the tried and true, the routines, the unshaken beliefs that seem to ground us—often feels easy and comforting. But sometimes, what we think holds us together can actually limit us.

Imagine going through life with a firm set of rules, a solid “this is who I am” line that we don’t dare cross. Yes it does sounds safe, but does it leave room for the unexpected? For growth?

Flexibility, in thinking and in living, is like water—it adapts to its surroundings without losing itself. And with every shift, every adjustment, we gain the kind of resilience that only openness can offer.

Khaled Hosseini’s 2003 novel “The Kite Runner” brings this idea to life through Amir’s journey of transformation. Amir’s rigidity in his younger years—a self-protective shield against remorse and regret—holds him back. It’s only through allowing himself to let go, to step outside the safety of what he thought he knew, that he begins to see the world differently, to grow, to heal. In many ways, life asks us to do the same: to let go of our inflexible routines, our unexamined beliefs, and dare to expand, even when it feels unsettling.

Flexibility doesn’t mean a lack of principles; it means knowing when to lean and when to hold firm. In our careers, for instance, we may be tempted to follow a narrow path, striving for security over passion. But with a little flexibility, the courage to say “yes” to new opportunities or “no” to burnout, we find ourselves with a broader view, a more balanced life. It’s the same with our relationships—when we aren’t set in stone, we’re more able to understand others, more willing to see things from their perspective, and far less likely to let disagreements calcify into grudges.

Mental agility is one of the greatest gifts we can give ourselves. Just like a body that needs stretching to stay healthy, the mind thrives on openness and adaptation. In fact, many of us have moments that require us to bend or shift, and every time we do, we strengthen our capacity to handle the next challenge. A flexible mind sees opportunity where a rigid one sees inconvenience, possibility where others may only see obstacles.

By staying mentally fluid, we also bring a sense of adventure back into our lives. Not every experience will be comfortable; some might even challenge our long-held beliefs. But stepping into the unknown—trying something different, exploring a new perspective, or even just changing up a daily routine—keeps life dynamic. In the words of Hosseini, “it always hurts more to have and lose than to not have in the first place.” True enough, but holding on too tightly can hurt just as much. In being flexible, we allow ourselves to experience without the crushing weight of needing things to go only one way.

If we can learn to be flexible, to see each twist and turn in life as an adventure, then every event has something to teach us, even if it’s just the value of patience or courage. For flexible thinkers, life doesn’t have to be black and white. They know when to let in new experiences, when to stand by what they value, and when to step back and re-evaluate. No, flexibility is not a compromise of values; but rather a tool that helps us respond to life with wisdom and rationale rather than fear and impulsiveness.

So, as we go forward, let’s remind ourselves to bend, not break, in the face of life’s winds. If we stay curious, willing to explore both inside and out, we’ll find that there’s room enough for both purpose and adventure. Maybe the real strength we’re looking for lies not in what we refuse to let go of but in what we’re willing to welcome.

Let’s say yes to that, shall we?


Ir Dr Nahrizul Adib Kadri

Ir Dr Nahrizul Adib Kadri is an associate professor of biomedical engineering and the former Director of Corporate Communications Centre, Universiti Malaya. He may be reached at nahrizuladib@um.edu.my

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