By: Nahrizul Adib Kadri
We’ve all heard the saying, “The grass is always greener on the other side.” But the moment you stop gazing longingly at someone else’s yard and start tending to your own, everything changes. The grass only seems greener on the other side until you realize you have the power to make yours flourish.
All it takes is effort, consistency, and a little gratitude.
Gratitude is often underestimated. It seems simple enough — an occasional “thank you” or the fleeting feeling of appreciation when things go our way. But there’s more to it than that. Gratitude is a practice, not just an emotion. It’s something you need to work on consistently, just like watering your own lawn. The more you practice gratitude, the more it transforms not only your mindset but also your life.
The mind is a powerful thing. As Dale Carnegie once said, “It isn’t what you have or who you are or where you are or what you are doing that makes you happy or unhappy. It is what you think about it.” If we spend all our time thinking about what we lack or comparing ourselves to others, we rob ourselves of the joy that could be found in the present. When we actively practice gratitude, we redirect our focus, shifting our mindset from scarcity to abundance. And that shift in perspective is where the real magic happens.
Let’s talk about why this matters mentally and physically. When you constantly compare your life to others, chasing after what they have, you not only diminish your own self-worth but also add stress and anxiety to your life. You start believing that what you have isn’t enough, that you are somehow less worthy because your “grass” doesn’t look as green. It’s exhausting, and it takes a toll on your mental health. But when you practice gratitude, you break that cycle. You begin to see the good in what you already have, and that simple act is like a balm for your mind.
And here’s the thing: true strength of character is built from within, not from external validation. Too often, we look for strength and worth in material success or social approval, thinking that these external markers define us. But these things are fleeting and ever-changing. You might acquire them today and lose them tomorrow. What truly lasts is the resilience, the character, the self-worth that comes from within. And gratitude is one of the most effective ways to cultivate that inner strength. It reminds you to focus on what you have, what you’ve built, and who you are becoming rather than fixating on what you lack.
We live in a world that often promotes comparison. Social media has made it easier than ever to look into someone else’s life and think, “Why don’t I have that?” It’s human nature, but it’s also a trap. Dale Carnegie in his “How to Stop Worrying and Start Living” bestseller warned that comparisons rob us of contentment and peace of mind. When you’re always looking at what someone else has, you stop tending your own garden. You lose sight of what truly matters in your life, and that’s a dangerous road to walk.
The solution? Water your own grass. Start by acknowledging what you already have, or “Bersyukur dengan apa yang ada.” No matter how small or insignificant it may seem, there is always something to be thankful for. You may not be where you want to be yet, but look at how far you’ve come. Look at the relationships you’ve built, the lessons you’ve learned, the growth you’ve experienced. These are the things that truly matter.
Knowing this, we have to remind ourselves not to fall into the trap of thinking someone else’s life is better or easier. Just because it’s difficult to find our so-called worth in the moment doesn’t mean we don’t have one. And the worst thing we can do is compare our journey to someone else’s.
So, what’s the next step? Well, for a start, stop looking at someone else’s success as the benchmark for your happiness. Instead, start watering your own grass by practicing gratitude. As Rumi the poet once said, “Wear gratitude like a cloak, and it will feed every corner of your life.” Every day, remind yourself of what you have and who you are. Strengthen yourself from the inside, because that’s where true character lies.
And tomorrow, when you wake up and see the same patch of grass that you see every day, ask yourself: “What can I do today to make it grow?” Because once you start watering your own, you’ll realize that:
It was green all along.
Ir. Dr. Nahrizul Adib Kadri is an associate professor of biomedical engineering at the Faculty of Engineering, and the Principal of Ibnu Sina Residential College, Universiti Malaya. He may be reached at nahrizuladib@um.edu.my
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